At one point in my 20s I had 3 jobs. There was one day a week when I worked 24 hours and I had Tuesdays entirely off. From 7am til the next day. I used to go to my job cooking at 3:30, at 10:30 I would RUN home and take a shower then I would run to the T to my job at 11pm. I did the night audit at a Best Western from 11-7am. Then I would go to another restaurant where I waited tables until 2pm and then I would go cook. I had fucking tons of money. I actually was able to sleep for 20 minutes here and there.
At the hotel job I got sick of the movies in their library. I read Moby Dick to kill time. All night long the night audit program kept running and literally stop running at like 6am. I had to set up wake up calls. It was a pretty easy job. I fucking read Moby Dick. Most of my job was giving prostitutes who called directions on how to get here.
In 6th, 7th, and 8th grades I went to this Catholic elementary school called St Bridget's. I walked home with this guy who was so short he looked like a dwarf. No lie. He also had the most incredible foul mouth. I'm not kidding, literally every other word was the F word. At one point he said, "That guy's ass sucks canal water." This makes no sense but he said it. He also said, "Fuck face." The first time I ever heard it I was like, "What the hell? This guy is making swears up."
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