THE GRITTY MISSION DISTRICT

I lived in the Mission kind of a lot. For awhile I was at 21st and Harrison and there was a taco wagon within walking distance and a taco window on the corner from my apartment. It was awesome. Eventually I went inside and ate at the restaurant that had the window. I had never been there and ordered enchiladas. They came with fucking cactus. The cactus was succulent and in a pile between the rice and the enchiladas. Fucking good. 

It was just me and a family in the restaurant. The family was totally real deal Mexican people. There was a big screen tv at the counter, you couldn't not watch it. It was back when big screens had those 3 lights at the bottom of the screen. This was some early big screen shitiness. Whatever, I watched anyway. It was a bullfight and I was watching the tv. I noticed that all the matadors were dying and I figured out that it was some Faces Of Death on tv. I hated that stuff. I saw that it was called Toro Del Muerte. It was thankfully silent.

At one point the family called the waiter over and gestured to the tv. I remember thinking, "Thank Christ they're turning off people dying." The waiter went over and turned up the volume, they were totally watching it. 

THE LONG WALK

I moved in with my father in Florida in 2008 or 9. I had just left Thailand so it was the definitely '08. When I got picked up by my father at the airport, we went to Osco Drug so I could buy something. I fucking shit my pants in there somehow. Then I had my father drop me off at Starbucks so I could use the wifi. It was like 9am. The idea was to work all day and make some money. 

When my father left Starbucks I went over to my table and there was no wifi. They had wifi at Starbucks in fucking Bangkok so I assumed they would have it here too. They didn't because Florida sucks. The girl behind the counter said, "We don't have wifi but they have it at Wendy's if you wanna walk to it." So I was like, "Yeah, I have to," so I left Starbucks and started walking to Wendy's.

It was fucking easily 100 degrees. I was in direct sunlight on the highway. Wendy's was fucking miles away. This was Florida, I assumed shit was all a mile apart but it was fucking 10 miles easy. I remember at one point I was thinking, "Wendy's has to be nearby.." I was pouring sweat. I finally got to Wendy's and they had wifi. I ordered food and started working. Eventually I couldn't write anymore and had to go home. 

I didn't see phone booths or phones anywhere. I realized Wendy's doesn't have a phone. Literally no one did. At this point I had to keep walking, I walked another 10 miles to the next Osco Drug. Hopefully they would have some phones. Thank Christ they did and I was able to call my father and have him come get me. This was my first day after moving in with my father. It totally got worse. 

MORE BANGKOK SHIT

 When I first got to Bangkok I realized people there could not say words that ended in a 'K' or 'L' sound. So when I signed up for pool in a bar I started writing 'Mikey.' The word for shit is 'Kee' and that word 'Mai' is a negative, like 'No.' I was in a taxi and the driver asked my name. I said, "Mikey, Mai-kee', and he said, 'You're name is 'no shit'? Do you have constipation or something?" I love pool. I shot it every where. There was a bar I went to called Morning, Night. The idea was to get there in the morning and stay til night. I totally did this. I used to have a rule in Bangkok, any time I walked by a bar and they were playing 'The End' by The Doors, I had to go in. That's how I ended up at Morning, Night. They were playing 'The End' and you could hear it on the sidewalk. Cool. 

There were like 20 tables in this place, it was a pool hall that sold beer and the girls were available if you wanted to leave with one. I would hang out with this girl basically every time I went there. She was fucking good at playing pool. Her name was Tai which in that language means 'rabbit'. So her name was 'Rabbit.' I used to say her name by rolling the 'R' the way people would say hello to Bugs Bunny, "R-r-r-rabbit" She never got this joke but I made it pretty much every night for awhile. I never took a girl from this bar but I did notice that this bar like almost all of them had a shrine to Buddha in the doorway, above the door. When girls left with a customer they would pray to the shrine on their way out. I'm not talking about them kneeling, they would nod or Wai. I loved this. 

I had a girl over to my apartment so I cleaned it up. I was paranoid about it smelling like cigarettes so I bought incense. I got some that smelled good and lit it before she got there. The girl I brought smelled the incense and said, "It smells like a funeral in here."