IN WHICH DEE DEE GETS MARRIED AND I GET DRUNK

In 1988 I was 18. We went to Ireland for Dee Dee's wedding. This is funny I have to tell it. My father showed up a week later. Me and my brother went to meet him at the airport. As soon as he got off the plane he barely looked at us and was clearly nervous and said, "We have to get the fuck out of here right now." When we got in the car, he had a CVS bag with $10,000 in cash in it because he didn't believe in checks and he literally had all that cash in a plastic bag the whole flight.

 Dee Dee's wedding had a full fucking Mass in it with Communion and a sermon and everything. It was brutal. I'm not kidding fucking 2 hours. Then they left in a white Rolls Royce, it was on the fucking news because we were in Cork, Ireland. While I was there I bought my friend Rick a bottle of Paddy's Irish Whiskey and I never gave it to him. A year later it was still sitting on my bookshelf. One day I decided to drink it, it was like 4pm and I was staunchly anti-alcohol. I remember how it felt going down my throat. That shit was hot. Next thing I remember I was cranking "Sister Ray" by The Velvet Underground. This song is 18 minutes long and they are attempting to change the weather with the music. At one point my father comes bursting into the room and yells, "I could hear that music driving up, I could hear it fucking down the street." Then he saw that I was wicked drunk and said, "At least you're normal" and then I guess I passed out.